Help! I think I married a narcissist.

Troy, 40s

When I first met my now wife, she made sure I knew that she was valedictorian of her high school graduating class. I thought it strange even then—after all, she was bright, friendly, outgoing, and gorgeous. She certainly didn’t need to advertise herself to me. And to prove how much she was wanted, she could rattle off a list of men trying, at that very moment, to get her to go out with them—she made sure I knew that, too. Whatever it was that might have rubbed me the wrong way about her back then, I chalked up to her having been spoiled by her parents.

Several years into the marriage and with the help of some current events that seem to mirror her behavior, I’ve realized something: I think my wife is an undiagnosed narcissist.

The thing about Sarah is that she’s always had her parents to clean up after her. She has an incredible sense of entitlement. We couldn’t afford a grandiose wedding, for instance—we got married young—and she just had her parents pay for the whole obscenely overdone thing. It never occurred to her that perhaps they couldn’t afford it, or that it would be ridiculous to spend over $50,000 on a wedding that we could have put toward a house. She simply felt that she deserved it—that’s what she told me every time I brought it up: “I deserve this!”

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