Linda, late 30s
I met my husband when I was 26 years old; we dated for a year before moving in together, and then we got married at 30. I was so thrilled on our wedding day—it felt like the beginning of a new life for us. We had plans to travel and buy a home, and we agreed that we both wanted children down the road. But…we still felt so young; we were in no rush.
After we’d been married for about a year, I started to notice that all of my friends were having babies. I’d been completely oblivious to the “timelines” and the “ticking biological clocks” that women supposedly feel once they’re in their thirties. I decided that I wasn’t really “ready” to be a mom, mostly because I didn’t have that “feeling” that women so often describe. I didn’t think that childbearing was magical: I was afraid what it would do to my body. I was afraid of breastfeeding; I was afraid of dropping the baby; I was afraid I wouldn’t rise to the challenge of motherhood.
But I think, most of all, I was afraid of what a baby would do to our marriage. My husband and I were always so in love; we were best friends. We shared common interests and hobbies. We loved hiking and being outdoors—how would a baby fit into that? Would I become consumed, forced to leave us on the back-burner? Would we become one of those couples who stayed together for the sake of the children—who went out for a rare date night and spent the hour eating in silence?
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